You know I have nothing, nothing left. Not even pictures, not even clothes not even…, and than I wasn’t seeing the kids at all so then I started smoking dope. Meth. Covered the pain you know. At that point I picked up dealing, I found Quay Street, and it was right up my alley for what I needed to do over there you know, so I was there for a long time, and you know got to the point where nothing really happened in that neighbourhood without me. Knowing about her being okay with it. I ran into Bethel, the students were int hat neighbourhood, so I’d be running drugs all day long and most of the night but for good two-three hours I ended up over at the student’s house. There was a… didn’t matter to them, just didn’t matter to them you know what I was doing. They loved me fiercely, real fiercely.
So then I tried to church with them, and actually I couldn’t sit through a worship service without just bowing, I would have to get up and leave. I had lost all hope that nothing was ever gonna change, that I would never have anything again, so I had actually tried to stop doing drugs and I couldn’t do it. But they didn’t condemn me either, they still loved me. It just didn’t matter to them.
I told God you drive, I’ll ride, whatever you say goes. And at that point I gave everything, I gave everything over to Him, I just let Him take control and I asked Jesus just to come just be with me. And within ten minutes I got sober and I never had a withdrawal from any kind of drug. Smoked for 22 years, not even a craving for a cigarette. Now, because our God is a God of restoration and reconciliation, I can see my children whenever I want to, and I actually have a good friendship, me and my ex-wife we have a workable relationship, a talkable relationship. What I want to see is just the most unwanted wanted again. I want to be that fierce to reach out to. To help them really recieve the Father’s love you know. Isaiah 61:7 says that „your shame will be replaced with double portion”, and I experience that on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter where you’ve been, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, if you take one step forward, He’ll come running. So I’m the living proof that the worst of the worst can become the best of the best.
Don’t let „run for your life” to happen to you! Find something that makes you happy! ’Cause everything else is all just background noise.
Szálljon hangunk tömjénfüstként, legyen kedves illatáldozat. Töltse be dicséret szent templomod, Halleluja zengjen mindenhol. Szent vagy, szent vagy Istenünk, Királyunk.
released September 16, 2013
Written & mixed by Ákos Philipp
Additional vocals: Orsi Komáromi
Additional piano: Dániel Sólyom
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